By Michael Premo.
With more than 6 years of experience, I can say with confidence that I have learned enough tips and tricks to help many of my fellow Dads out there—single or married. Much of what I have learned comes from on-the-job training. Kids don’t come with a manual, like your iPad or 3D TV. I have read a short list of books that have helped me understand a child’s behavior and development. These books are what I would consider foundation and framework, allowing a structure to better understand my children. I believe we can glean from all of the latest information out there to benefit our children. While at the University of Iowa, I took several childhood development and behavior management courses required for teachers, all of which have helped me with my children in their school years.
With more than 6 years of experience, I can say with confidence that I have learned enough tips and tricks to help many of my fellow Dads out there—single or married. Much of what I have learned comes from on-the-job training. Kids don’t come with a manual, like your iPad or 3D TV. I have read a short list of books that have helped me understand a child’s behavior and development. These books are what I would consider foundation and framework, allowing a structure to better understand my children. I believe we can glean from all of the latest information out there to benefit our children. While at the University of Iowa, I took several childhood development and behavior management courses required for teachers, all of which have helped me with my children in their school years.
I’m not bracketed into a single
child rearing philosophy or controlled by a single way of taking care of
children. Modern American society has a colorful and varied collection of
insights into a child’s psychology, from the simple “Reward-Punishment” to the
complex “Redirecting Behavior.” There is an over-abundance of material on
children and parenting, enough for a lifetime of reading. My hope is to help
sort through all of the materiel and help you trust your instincts.
Prior to being a stay-at-home
parent, I was in the advertising and marketing industry, working as an Account
Executive and Project Manager in several small firms and ending at a Fortune
100 company. My experience with infants was next to nothing, the youngest of
three boys, and youngest of my cousins. In my early twenties, I held my
two-month-old niece once, then went back to college and didn’t get to see her
until she was a toddler. I had never held a baby before. I never changed a
diaper, never gave one a bottle, never burped an infant. I quit my marketing
job at the Fortune 100 company to take care of my eight-month-old son, while my
wife went to work. Homemaker, Stay-At-Home Dad, or some are even call it the
CDO (Chief Domestic Officer). We attended Gymboree, library reading time and
played—a lot. Then, my daughter was born when my son was two-years-old. An
infant and toddler can make your head spin. Dishes, laundry, meals,
transportation, enrichment and education are only a few of the things I am
responsible for. The most difficult and rewarding occupation I’ve ever had. I
managed millions of dollars, projects and businesses, none of them compare to
the stress and exhaustion I have experienced. Nearly seven years later, my son
is finishing 1st grade and my daughter is going into Kindergarten.
And, because this is my resume, I can brag about the fact that I’ve been
congratulated, admired and received accolades from my peers (stay-at-home
Moms), counselors and pediatricians.
As all stay-at-home Moms know,
there are no medals or awards for what we do, no pay raises, and many times
there’s no thanks, except for a day in May for them, June for Dads. Sure, you
get the occasional smile and hug that brings tears to your eyes, or the occasional
pat on the back from a friend. Both are priceless, but in our materialistic
society, where money and industry have become our rewards, these moments are
becoming more difficult to comprehend or acknowledge. I look forward to the
future when my children will reward me with them becoming themselves, happy or
heartbroken, successful or struggling, none of it will matter to me because I
love them regardless, unconditionally.
This is Dad’s focused. Being a good
Dad is not something we are born with, and like everything else in life, we
need to work at it, understanding it better will make us successful. If you
have questions or concerns, discuss these issues with your spouse or the
children’s mother (The Ex). I encourage you to investigate further, exactly
what it means to be a father, and when you do, let me know, because I’m still
learning a lot.
Disclaimer: I am not an expert. The
opinions, my opinions, are my own. Please consult your pediatrician, counselor
or therapist first before putting into practice any of my opinions. If you have
child related medical, physical or behavioral, questions, please consult your
pediatrician. If there’s one thing I know, your pediatrician is an excellent
resource, so use them.
I agree that being a good Dad is something we are not born with. It takes lots of work and patience to do the job well.
ReplyDeleteI also found that being a Stay At Home Dad is much more difficult, for me, than going to work as a Police Officer!
Great site!
Regards,
Ken
MemoirsOfaStayAtHomeDad