May 18th, 2012

Pulled in Different Directions

Brining up two children in the Tampa Bay area is special, because of the many places and events available, all within a 45 minute drive or less. The Florida Aquarium has been a favorite for many years. It has three levels of aquatic life and an outdoor water park, equating to four hours of fun for infants to 8-year-olds. The Lowry Park Zoo is another great place, family friendly, and water fun, as well as rides for all ages. Tarpon Springs, a Greek community, nestled on the bank of the Anclote River, boasts world-wide fame for its sponges and sponge diving. Another four hours can be spent there, as well as a great lunch or dinner. Busch Gardens is very family friendly and a lot of fun, however, it can be very expensive. Same with Disney and Sea World. There are several state parks and many county parks, where adventure and discovery are free. Miles of sugar sand beaches and beach communities with their own style and amenities. Both downtown St. Petersburg and Tampa have excellent art museums. The list goes on, and gets bigger if driving an hour to an hour and a half is possible. The mermaids of Weeki-Wachee Springs are a trip on Mr. Peabody’s “Wayback Machine” and the springs are the perfect place to swim and cool off during the Florida summer. Also, Sarasota has the amazing Ringling Art Museum, Marie Selby Gardens and The Mote Marine Aquarium, as well as miles of beaches.

Taking a single child to any one of these places is much easier than taking two. I am not advocating single child parenting, because I love both my children and wouldn’t want it any other way. The process and procedures involved with taking two children is more difficult and exhausting, for several reasons. The first is simple; different ages means different stages, the older child is potty trained and the younger is not, bottle versus solid food, etc. Many times, I had to prepare the night before or early in the morning to get assemble the necessities for an outing to the Aquarium or Zoo. Preparation is key to a successful day.

The first occasion I felt pulled in opposite directions at the same time was a day with my two toddlers, Sada (18 months) and Nat (3 ½ years). We went to the Lowry Park Zoo. The plan was to be there in the morning, eat lunch and get on the road for their nap. Packing List: diaper bag, collapsible stroller, towels, spare clothes, snacks, juice, wipes, sanitizer and budget. We arrived shortly after rush hour traffic had subsided, unpacked and, typical for Florida, put on our suntan lotion. Sada in the stroller, Nat holding my hand and twenty pounds of stuff on my back, we were excited to see the animals, ride the carousel and play in the fountains.

Once through the gates, Sada no longer wanted to be in the stroller. She kicked and screamed at me to set her free. I complied, because we were in a relatively safe environment. Nat wanted to see the giraffes, which were almost to the very back of the zoo. And Sada, being 18 months, wanted to see what was in the opposite direction. Both took off running. Of course, the 3 year-old was faster and surefooted. With twenty pounds of stuff on my back and empty stroller in front of me, yelling was an option, but I knew it would do no good. So, trying to keep an eye on Nat, I caught Sada, plopped her into the stroller and chased after the boy, who by now thought it was a fun game to run away from daddy. Sada was in the stroller laughing at how fast she was going. I knew if we crashed or she fell out (she was not strapped in), the laughing would be over.

I couldn’t blame them and their excitement. My hometown of Saginaw, Michigan has a children’s zoo and I loved to go there. Only open during the summer, I mostly remember the monkeys and train that circled the park. At the end of it all, we would get a sno-cone and go to Anderson pool to cool off.

The Lowry Park Zoo is arranged into regions, Asia is at the front, North America is in the middle on the left, Australia is in the middle on the right, Africa is in the back. Just beyond the monkeys and almost to the wild turkeys is where we caught up to Nat. He was tired and stopped to listen to a Colobus Monkey screaming its warning call that could be heard throughout the park. He was out of sight for about twenty seconds, but those twenty seconds felt like two minutes. My heart was pounding too fast for my out-of-shape body and my nerves were already shot. It was only 9:15 and already I needed a break.

A lesson in expectations, mine and the children’s, had to be given. I knew I should have done it in the parking lot, but was just as excited as them to get inside and see the animals. I squatted down to their eye level, their worldview, and explained that we needed to stay together, close enough to see my eyes. I also explained about getting lost, especially with all of the other kids running around. Both were able to tell me which animals they wanted to see first and we decided where to go from there. After that, we had our moments of detachment and wandering, but never too far.

I often hear the many different directions my friends and family are pulled at work. And, I remember my days in a corporate office, when I had to be in what felt like a hundred different places over the course of a day. Being with a child, or children, feels like that, whether you have a full day planned or are improvising between housework and playing outside. Either physically, or mentally, we are all pulled in different directions throughout the day. It’s how we handle the stress and frustration of an inconsistent environment that makes us better people and better parents.
Michael Premo